Category: 2014 Summer

Summer 2014 Edition

Men Care In South Africa Matthew Shepard’s October Mourning Mastering Fatherhood * Love, Fury, Fathers and Sons College Guys and Healthy Relationships FEATURES Fifteen Years After Columbine: We’re Still Asking the Wrong Questions An Interview with Jackson Katz by Jeremy Earp On April 20, 1999, high school seniors Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold walked into the cafeteria and library at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, began shooting, and killed 12 of their classmates and a teacher—and wounded dozens of others—before taking their own lives. Toxic Masculinity Unmasked: The Santa Barbara Tragedy Kevin Powell What exactly is a man?...

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The Broad Brushstrokes

  In his new book, When the War Came Home (Levellers Press), Bill Newman, a noted ACLU attorney, shows how the idealism of the anti–Vietnam War movement still lives—most importantly in the lives of the children of that generation. The title of the book refers to the spring day 44 years ago when the Ohio National Guard opened fire on anti-war protesters at Kent State University, killing four. Following is an excerpt from Newman’s book that looks at fathering, and raising daughters. He wrote it in the summer of 1998. The painting consisted of two waveshaped watercolor brushstrokes—one a...

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Ending the “Ordinary” Abuse of Young Men and Boys

By Charles Knight I was late that day on my way to the lunchroom in high school. The hallway was almost empty. A couple of older boys called me over to where they stood to one side. Suddenly eight other boys emerged from a nearby stairwell and grabbed my arms and legs. Despite my desperate struggle, they overwhelmed me. With my head restrained by many hands, one of the boys, his mouth coated in bright red lipstick, forced his lips to mine and then, for the finishing touch, inserted his tongue. The assembled gang chanted, “You know you like...

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Poetry

male bonding for Adrian, J., Christopher, Matthew & Randall i want my sons to know men who smile i want my sons to know men who own their imperfections i want my sons to know men who listen i want my sons to know men who hear hearts, see words i want my sons to know men who honor women i want my sons to know men who appreciate the arts i want my sons to know men who adore their mamas i want my sons to know men who aren’t afraid of tears i want my sons to...

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Paternity Leave on the Diamond

Are we living in 2014 or decades ago? Former NFL quarterback Boomer Esiason and sports radio commentator Mike Francesa trashed New York Mets second baseman Daniel Murphy for missing opening day of the baseball season to be with his wife for the birth of their child. In case you missed it, Esiason opined, “I would have said, ‘C-section before the season starts. I need to be at Opening Day. I’m sorry, this is what makes our money. This is how we’re going to live our life. This is going to give my child every opportunity to be a success...

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What Every College Guy Oughta Know About Good Relationships

In the midst of growing outrage and deepening concern about sexual violence, sexual harassment, and the flourishing of rape culture on our campuses, Voice Male contributing editor Michael Kaufman has written a guide aimed at campus men. It takes an accessible and honest look at these issues and provides a positive approach to help young men learn about the consequences of their words and actions. The booklet applies to all relationships, although the particular emphasis is on men’s relationships with women because that’s where most (but of course not all) dating violence occurs. This excerpt about consent was inspired...

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Men @ Work

Straight TV Host on the Hot Seat Alicia Menendez and Janet Mock. What happens when a transgender activist gets to turn the tables and ask her interviewer to prove her womanhood? Transgender activist Janet Mock grilled host Alicia Menendez about her identity, genitalia, and womanhood not long ago in a segment for Fusion TV’s AM Tonight. Menendez answered a series of invasive questions like “Do you have a vagina?” and “When was the moment that you felt your breasts budding?” The interview was a parody of typical media interviews with transgender people, with Mock asking Menendez—who is cisgender—many of...

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Letters

NOW Founder on Men Judy Norsigian, executive director of Our Bodies Ourselves, left a flyer about Voice Male in the visor of my car when she was visiting me and giving a talk.  She had copies of the magazine that she distributed at New College.  I was glad to know about the magazine and the new Voice Male book about men who stand with women for gender justice. Sonia Pressman Fuentes Sarasota, Fla. The writer, 85, is author of Eat First: You Don’t Know What They’ll Give You, The Adventures of an Immigrant Family and Their Feminist Daughter, and...

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Male Privilege Redefined, Not Negated

by John A. McCarroll The sort of language used to assert men’s dominance over women has a pretty recognizable pattern across the cultural landscape. Men, we are told, are in charge of things because they have something women (supposedly) lack: physical strength, honor, higher cognitive facilities, or the mystique of the male organ itself. Women, sadly “lacking” these qualities, need to be “protected” from the all-consuming lusts of strange men. This can be spun as noble chivalry, brutal domination, or a playful battle of the sexes, but at the root it’s the same: women are denied the freedoms that...

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Fathering Mastery

It’s a great time to be a father! For most of recent history, raising children has been the primary responsibility of women. In the last 30 years a new world has opened up for men to play more significant roles in bringing up the next generation. As more fathers became involved in raising our children, men realized what mothers have always known: children are amazing! Involved fathers report higher overall satisfaction in their own lives, not to mention the myriad benefits that an involved father brings to his children. Unfortunately, many families are not partaking in this cornucopia of...

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Love & Fury

Prize-winning poet, essayist, and fiction writer Richard Hoffman is the author of Half the House, a memoir about coming to terms with the childhood rape he suffered at the hands of his baseball coach. In his new memoir, Love & Fury (Beacon Press, June, 2014) Hoffman grapples with the legacy of his boomer-generation boyhood in a rustbelt Pennsylvania town. Along the way, he explores the often unspoken values men inherit and draw upon as they navigate their roles as husbands, sons, fathers, and grandfathers. Tracing five generations of his family’s history, focusing particularly on his complicated relationship with his...

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Profeminist Men’s Work: The Early Days

In the late 1970s and early 1980s, small groups of men began to mobilize, joining the women-led movement to end violence against women. The sociopolitical climate in which the battered women’s movement gained momentum, had been powerfully influenced by the social justice movements that had simmered and exploded during the preceding decades. There were major struggles including the fight for human rights for men and women of color, women in general, gays and lesbians, and survivors of poverty and war, among others. They were struggles in which members of different marginalized groups would sometimes unite to confront their common...

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Men Care In South Africa

In the northern areas of South Africa’s Western Cape almost half of the population is jobless. Liquor stores in the towns provide a predictable outlet for people’s boredom and frustrations—and contribute to a range of social problems: fighting and aggression, substance abuse, domestic and sexual violence, child abuse and absent parenting. Lenie Januarie, acting supervisor for the Children and Families Program at the Department of Social Development (DSD), cites parental neglect as a major problem and says that cases of child abuse constitute the highest intake for her office. Assault is the most common crime in Vredendal, one of...

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Toxic Masculinity Unmasked: The Santa Barbara Tragedy

What exactly is a man? This is the question that has been pounding in my head since first watching Elliot Rodger’s chilling “Retribution” YouTube video posted right before he went on his stabbing and shooting rampage in Isla Vista, California. I was struck by his numerous references to being a “man,” his feelings of rejection by women, his frustrated desire to have sex with them. He was a man feeling absolutely powerless, enraged at being denied the gender privilege that men enjoy in a male-dominated world. Blend that warped sense of male grievance with mental illness, America’s abundance of...

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An Interview With Jackson Katz

On April 20, 1999, high school seniors Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold walked into the cafeteria and library at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, began shooting, and killed 12 of their classmates and a teacher—and wounded dozens of others—before taking their own lives. The rampage shocked the nation and sparked a fierce national debate about gun control laws, youth violence, bullying, school security, and violent video games. But 15 years and scores of mass killings later, the national conversation about rampage killings seems to be stuck at an impasse—fixated almost exclusively on the issues of guns and mental...

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Outlines

Writing October Mourning: A Song for Matthew Shepard has been a long journey, one that took me over 11 years and began with a terrible coincidence. My journey began October 12, 1998, the day I flew across the country to give a speech about the controversy over my children’s book, Heather Has Two Mommies at the University of Wyoming, in celebration of National Coming Out Day. It was entitled “Heather’s Mommy Speaks Out: Homophobia, Censorship, and Family Values” and focused on the difficulties I had in getting my book Heather Has Two Mommies published, and how important it is...

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